PIPE Part 2 (New Identity)

I let people know me as Naz instead of Kunaz (coz Kunaz sounds a bit unique and people might remember me easily. haha!) I really wanted to be a new person there tapi alahai ramaila plak x-utpian kat PIPE for that session. Tapi most of them were my juniors. Sometimes rasa seganlah jugak. Saya senior diorang, saye sepatutnye tunjukkan kepimpinan and contoh yang baik untuk mereka. But I didn't. Diorang pulak yang lebih2 outstanding present macam2 kat depan. Saye lak present sekali jek seumur hidup kat PIPE tue. Heee.... Memang malu, rasa macam useless pun ada but it was my fault. I chose it to be that way.

There was one lady there yang tersangat outspoken. She participated a lot in the program. One day saye dapat peluang borak2 personal dengan dia. As expected, she has misjudged me. She saw me as a fragile little girl that cannot cope with the tough environment. She even didn't believe that I was from the engineering stream. Owh for god sake, kalaulah dia tahu apa yang pernah saya lalui dalam kehidupan saya... Huhu... But again, it was not her fault. I chose it to be seen that way...

I was so pendiam sepanjang program tue. I didn't share my experience during any discussions. Contohnya, during the comunity services, semua orang excited nak cerita pengalaman buat community service masing2 walaupun sekadar sebagai ahli PBSM di sekolah. But me, I was one of the delegate yang dihantar untuk membantu mangsa Tsunami dulu and I didn't share the story. Banyak lagi isu lain yang dibincangkan and I have experienced all the issues but I never share them. Yeah I know, I was a horrible person.

It's just, I don't want people knowing me that way (via PIPE program). Ada 52 orang je masa PIPE session haritu and I don't mind kalau all of them misjudge saye. A big transformation right? Dulu saye punyelah tak suke if people misunderstand me. Huhu... Takpelah, kalau ada rezeki diorang akan kenal my true self secara personal one sweet day. I prefer it to be that way.

0 comments:

Blog contents © Stories of Heart 2010. Blogger Theme by NymFont.