Tired

Lately, I always feel tired. I used to work 15 hours per day, continuously for 8 months. I used to sleep only 2 hours daily. I used to do more than what I'm doing now, but my level of tiredness is truly significant now. Penat yang teramat2 and I think I know why. I never feel tired of doing things that I'd love to do, but I will feel exhausted if I do things insincerely.

I'm tired of cleaning up the mess made by others. I'm tired of initiating any group works. I'm tired of being considered as a leader who holds all the responsibilites while they don't have any. I'm tired of thinking the solutions for other people's problems. I'm tired of being tired for others. And I'm really tired of doing things with insincerity. Owh God, grant me a sincere heart please... I can't stand being tired for petty things like these....

My advise to myself, do things sincerely, or else just don't do it. You got nothing except tiredness and heartache. But how could I?

Petronas Interview = Heartless

Petronas interview. Walaupun sudah 3 hari berlalu tapi masih segar di ingatan. Interview yang terpaksa saya tempuhi secara paksa rela. Well, I’ve planned everything very well before. Nak pegi interview next semester so that it won’t disturb my week yg mmg akan sentiasa busy. Lagipun, saya sgt prefer utk tidak bekerja dgn Petronas. Semoga saya di-release-kan dgn free of charge nnt. Hehe… Tapi tue la, kite hanya mampu merancang, tapi mungkin rancangan Allah lagi hebat. Lagipun, saya patut bersyukur, ramai yang nak interview first batch tapi tak dapat.

I didn’t prepare well for the interview. I don’t know what had happened to me last week. I was bloody heartless with everything (haha!). I felt completely hollow. Walaupun ramai kawan saya yang Thursday session cakap the interview was horror, that couldn’t scare me even a bit. Saye interview pagi jumaat puku 8 a.m tapi petang Khamis tue baru saya baru sibuk2 nak fotostat sijil, baru nak buat resume, tumpang print resume kat printer orang, gi cari kasut untuk dipinjam and etc. Throughout the night, I was just wasting my time looking at the tips with a blank mind. Baca seme bende pon tak masuk. So saya tido awal malam tu. Bangun awal sket bajet nak study tips time tu tp hati dan minda still kosong. Nothing could pass into my mind. Sampai rumet saya yang risau terlebih melihatkan keadaan saya yang heartless melampau.

But lastly, saya berjaya habiskan membaca tips tu utk satu round jek. My brain kept kicking the input out and I gave up. Saya cuma mampu berdoa kepada Yang Esa agar berikan yang terbaik utk saya. Saya tidak tahu apa yang terbaik utk saya, tapi Tuhan tahu dan itulah satu-satunya doa yang tidak pernah saya miss in my daily prayer.

Dipendekkan cerita, semasa orang tgh menggeletar kat waiting room, saya masih heartless, masih tidak punya keinginan utk membaca tips. Hati dan fikiran sangat kosong. Masuk preparation room pon camtu. Di preparation room inilah berlaku satu kontroversi hebat. Saya tidak tahu yang saya perlu menulis nama parents saya di ruangan orang utk dihubungi sekiranya berlaku kecemasan (xde dlm instruction). So saya letak nama Zakuan. Then, orang yang handle borang tue dtg tanya saya sape Zakuan. Takkan nak cakap boyfriend kan, so saya cakap “tunang saya”

Dia macam tak percaya. Dia suruh saya tulis nama Zakuan dalam ruangan “Suami”. Saya cakap saya belum kahwin tp dia bertegas suruh saya tulis sambil tersenyum sinis. Then, orang tue keluar. Beberapa minit kemudian, dia masuk balik preparation room tu and saya nampak dia tunjuk form saya tu kat penjaga preparation room tu. Penjaga tue then tgk saya, dia tak tahu saya tgh tgk dia. Bile dia nampak saya tgk dia trus dia pandang kat lain. Saya tak faham dgn apa yang berlaku. Bile dah abih interview baru saya dpt tahu dari kawan2 saya di waiting room bahawa lelaki yg handle borang tu pergi konfemkan dgn kawan2 saya either saya dah kawen belum. Ape gile merepek la lelaki tue! Yang kelakarnye, guys dlm waiting room tu serentak jawab “Beluuuummm.. tapi dah nak dekat dah!” And seme konfemkan Zakuan tue tunang saye. Haha! So, kesimpulannya, if you have happily married, put it as single or else you’ll be in trouble. Heh!

Owh, berkenaan interview, saya masih tenang dan heartless bile berdepan dgn interviewer tue. Walaupun di-provoke habis-habisan, saya mampu menepisnya dengan kreatif sampai interviewer tu tersengeh2 surrender. Kesimpulannya, saya berpuas hati dengan performance saya sepanjang interview tue. I don’t care about the jobs sebab saya yakin rezeki ada di mana2 kalau kita rajin berusaha. I just care about my performance. I need to do something that satisfies me even though I’m not hoping for any positions in Petronas. Lagipun, this year, placement utk Civil Engineer sangat terhad. Nak 5 orang jek and kalo boleh semua lelaki. Heh!

Kesimpulannya (byk nyer kesimpulan) utk interview petronas nie, you don’t have to prepare for the technical things. Just prepare yourself to be analytical and creative in handling the provocations. And try real hard not to get nervous. Nervous la yg seringkali mengganggu kemampuan otak kita utk berfungsi dgn mantap. Itu sahaja. Dan saya masih heartless selepas interview dan heartless itu berkekalan sepanjang hari itu walaupun kereta saya telah dirempuh dgn sangat dahsyat selepas pulang dari interview itu….

Hehehe...

Hehehe.... sinis sungguh gelakanku ini... Hmmm... Baru bbrp hari lepas saye sedikit terkilan setelah mendengar berita perkapelan seorang rakan saya yang baik. Ntahla, dgr khabarnya, pasangannya ada rekod buruk dalam soal percintaan. Saya cuma risau rakan saya yang baik ini akan kecewa di hari muka. Tapi saya takkan semudah itu utk menilai dan menghukum seseorang. Sebab saya percaya akan kuasa cinta itu. Cinta mampu mengubah alim ulama menjadi syaitan and vice versa. And yang paling penting, saya sangat percaya pada rezeki dan jodoh. Kalau ade jodoh, whatever it comes, jodoh takkan ke mana....

Kemudian harini ini saya tersangat gembira kerana mendengar berita ttg perkapelan seorang lagi rakan saya dengan seorang lagi rakan saya. 2-2 baik dan saya sgt merestui hubungan mereka (erkk..cam parents diorg la plak).

Sebelum ini, slh seorg kawan saya yang baik ini pernah kapel dgn seorg lagi kawan saya yang juge baik. Tapi sayang, jodoh tak panjang. Saya sedih mereka clash tapi sekarang saya gembira kerana kedua-dua mereka telah mendapat pengganti yang lebih baik dan lebih serasi. Hikmah Allah begitu indah. Dia memberikan kita sedikit kesengsaraan utk mengecapi kebahagian selepas itu. Secara tiba2, saya memanjat kesyukuran kepada Allah kerana memberi hidup yang bahagia buat kawan2 kesayangan saya, seperti mana Dia memberikan kebahagiaan kepada saya.

Walaubagaimanapun, saya bangga sebab saya masih hebat dalam permainan jigsaw puzzle. Saya mampu mengumpulkan bbrp info utk menjadi satu fakta yang kukuh. So, be careful to those yang suka cakap berbelit2 dgn saya. Fakta2 anda berada di dalam database otak saya di saat anda mula mengenali saya. It's just I seldom show it up, let it be my personal record. Anyway, tahniah yer kepada kawan2 di atas. Saye tahu sendiri, takde org bitau. Haha!

Accident

I've been to the Petronas interview today. It was a good one but I don't feel like writing about it now. Later maybe... As headlined above, I've been involved in an accident this morning, soon after my interview was over. Zak drove the car and saye dok sblah kiri tue. Zak nak park kat side parking kat one way road dpan kopetro tu. Parking masuk bontot kete lu. Semasa Zak tgh gigih berusaha nak masuk parking, I have sensed something bad. I could hear the vrooming sound from a distance. I could sense that someone was speeding real fast at the moment. I could sense that something was going to be very wrong, and here it was, a red wira hit my left door with a great impact. It sounded like an explosion. Bumper dpan kereta tue siap melayang2 lagi.

I was in a heartless mode by that time and I could maintain myself that way throughout the accident. Tenang sungguh saya menghadapi accident itu. My left door cannot be opened, so I couldn't get out of the car. Masa tue, ade a few juniors yang lalu lalang kat susur gajah tu ran to my car and asked me "Are you ok kak?" Maybe they assumed that I was suffering a trauma with the situation but honestly, I felt nothing (saye pon heran).

Balik room, saye dengan gediknye gi mengadu kat my SV, Dr Shark about the accident. Di sebalik bbrp perangainya yang menyakitkan hati, he has the sweet parts somewhere. I couldn't afford to hate him for a long time. Huhu... And as usual, he cared much. Abih seme pakgad dgn HSE officer dia call. Dulu mase saya jatuh longkang pon dia gak yang handle. Heh! Saye mmg ngengade!

But luckily that chinese driver is a responsible man. He cooperated well, kitorang pun sampai tak sampai hati nak tinggi2kan suara. He admitted all his faults. Dia mmg tgh speeding utk blk KL and dia bajet kereta dia boleh lepas that condition by that time. He managed everything from A-Z. I don't have to pay every single cent for it so this case was closed peacefully. Yerla, xyahla nak pjg2kan cerita kan. Everyone makes mistakes and we have to give him a chance.

Tadi ramai gile pak guard mengerumuni kereta saye sbb polis dari balai polis Parit datang masuk nak tgk. My car was surrounded by the men in blue uniforms, nampak macam kes bunuh la plak. Hehe... So itulah dia, my first accident in life... Tak begitu meninggalkan kesan tapi telah mengajar saya menyayangi beberapa org pak guard kat UTP nie. Haha! Lakhbir best!

p/s: Terpaksa memecahkan rekod "free-accidents ever" huhu...

Hari Yang Malang

Hari ini saya buat lab. Saya pergi kutip air taik di STP kul 9.30. Setup2 barang sampai kul 12, pastu pergi jemput mekanik kete kat taman maju sbb kete lily xley start. Pastu sambung wat lab sampai kul 3. Hari ini second day saye datang bulan, waktu di mana flow ia sgt heavy tp saye tidak menyangka se-heavy ini. Walaupun telah memakai pad yang mempunyai daya protection paling tinggi (overnight + wing + double anti-leakage channel), saye masih mengalami serious leakage. Sebbaik etty perasan.

Walaupun mengalami kebocoran, saye terpaksa ke post office after buat lab sbb nak pos barang yang customer order (pos laju masa dia sampai kul 3.30 jek). Saya cuba masuk ke post office dgn memakai lab coat utk meng-cover kesan kebocoran di pakaian saya, tapi malang, lab coat juga terkena kesan bocor. Saya dgn gamble nyer masuk ke post ofis jugak....

Lps tu saya balik ke blok. Semasa sedang memanjat tangga, saya ternampak 2 org adik cleaner sedang mencuci tiang tangge. Saye lari dengan dahsyatnya utk mengelak dari dilihat kesan darah yang banyak itu. Sekali saye jatuh tangge. Isskk... sia-sia saya pecut, baik saya naik tangge diam2 jek. Tak pepasal dah 2 kali malu. Haiihh... susah btul jadi pompuan....

Take a Break

Rase cam dah lama tak berblog, nie semua dr shark nye pasal! Two subjects of his is equivalent to 8 subjects of the previous semesters. Every single second seemed too precious to be wasted, so don't really have time to update this blog even though there were lots of things I would like to share here. Damn! I've forgotten everything. It's ok, it shows that I'm easy to forgive and forget then. Haha! And a big thanks to this mid-term break, now I have time to stretch my legs and spin my body happily.

But dude, as long as you are still being labelled as a student, there won't be any long-term happiness. Mid-term break means you don't need to go the lectures for a while only, but it won't help us to resist the workloads. I've got to submit 3 assignments + 1 presentation + 3 tests + 1 interview after the break ends and I need to do the FYP lab 2-3 times during this break. 1 lab session will take 8 hours long, standing and running all the time and take a break for the prayer purpose only. Haiiihh...

But guess what, despite all these things, I still have time to take a night class (sewing class) + jalan2 dgn Zakuan + bisnes2 + masak best2 + tgk muvi byk2 + pikir lama2 psl future yg spatutnye leh pikir next time + bla bla blaaa.. Hehe.. kate mid-term break, so take a break! =D

Qabil Khusry Qabil Igam

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

Last Saturday, saye and Zakuan pergi menonton wayang di TGV Jaya Jusco. Setelah berjaya menghabiskan minggu yang memenatkan, we thought that we should be rewarded for that. But, we didn't go to Ipoh just for the watching purpose. Yes, as usual, business comes first then dah setel seme baru leh enjoy.

Normally, if we watch movies in a cinema, we prefer to watch the lightest movie available at the moment. Nak wat camne, saye nie jenis emo and serius gile time menonton. Even tgk movie kat bilik pon saye akan serius gaban. Kawan2 saye pon perasan nie... So, saye tak boleh tgk cite heavy2 kat cinema, nnt saya terbawak2 and asyik terpikir2 jek, rosak lak nnt moment kitorg kluar aritu. Huhu... Antara cerita berat yang pernah saya tgk di cinema adalah matrix reloaded dgn aisyah.. kuar cinema trus migrain. Huhu...

So that day, we decided to watch Qabil Khusry Qabil Igam, a malay movie arahan Cik Azlina Pa’Wan. We chose that movie sbb kami bajet cite tu light and showtime dia pon sesuai, x perlu blk UTP lewat malam. Yes I know that ramai yang give a bad impression to the Malay movies and even to the person who watch the malay movies. Honestly, malay movies are not my type as well tapi saye takdela tahap sampai nak kutuk2. There are some good malay movies nowdays, jgn sebab nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga. And so far, by watching malay movies, english saye takdela rosak tunggang langgang lagi. Huhu...

Lagipun, pengarah dia so far mmg dh byk menghasilkan drama2 berkualiti kat TV3. "Sekiranya anda penonton setia slot Samarinda sekitar tahun 2004, anda sudah pasti pernah menonton drama Samarinda berjudul SEPHIA. Selain drama ‘Miftahul Jamilah’, Cik Azlina juga gah dengan Anak Bapak 1 & 2 dan telemovie ‘Syurga Di Mana’ yang juga menjadi salah satu daripada 10 telemovie terbaik yang tercalon dalam Anugerah Skrin TV3 bagi tahun 2006." (copy paste..haha!)

Hoho...seems like I like the movie very much. Haha! Bolehla.. Qabil Khusry Qabil Igam nie awal2 jek yang kelakar (xdela kelakar sgt pon..fake jugak), sejam terakhir tue memang sedih gile nak mampus. This part yang membuatkan filem nie boleh dipuji. Lagi sedih dari filem Cinta. Siot jek, saye nangis sampai contact lenses terapung2. Xpayah titik lubricant dah. Hahaha! Zak pulak sebok sengih2 tgk saye nangis. Hampeh nye laki!

Overall, tensen gakla, plan asal nk tgk light movie, skali nangis2 la plak dlm gelap. Haha.. Tp, puas hati jugak sebab movie tu berjaya menyampaikan mesej dia, terkesan di hati ah kire. Huhu.. So, x rugi sgt la kalo nk tgk cite nie. Lagi tak rugi kalo download kat DC++ jek. Haha!

Busy?

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

I only take four subjects for this semester, the least number of subjects I've ever taken in UTP - normally the range was from 6 to 8 subjects per semester. But 2 of them are taught by Dr Shark (including FYP) and everyone knows how it's going to be when taking his class. A mountain of workloads are seemed to be like a small road bumper to him. His demands and expectations are too high and you have to sacrifice your whole life to reach his level. Haiiihhh Dr Shark....

Another subject is taught by Dr Amer - the greatest monster on earth. He's too complicated and too stern, even a tiny mistake could give a huge impact to the students. Sometimes, he could be very cruel to the students. Many have cried because of him and lots of others have lost their confidences because of him too. That's the reason why there are only 10 students are taking his subject for this semester, including me. But luckily, Dr Amer seems like to like us and he used to say this, "Assume all of you will get A for this subject until you prove to me that you are not qualified to get it" The rule to understand this monster is simple - follow his pace. Even though you haven't got a knowledge in a particular topic, act like you have one (hehe...) He desn't teach much in class, but he loves to have a 'matured' discussion. So, we need to prepare a knowledge before coming to his class and act like a matured engineer when having the discussion with him. That's how he evalutes students.

The last subject is taught by Dr Naser, a hot lecturer of the century. Sempoi abess, nak tido dlm kelas pon buleh. Nak ponteng lagilaa... Klas nie paling ramai students and yang ponteng pon ramai. Saye blom lagi laa.. esok2 la kot. Haha! But it is a memory dumping subject. By just looking at the notes will make me sleepy, blum lagi bace... Hehe... And it has been a tradition that it isn't easy to score an A for this subject. Hmmm... extra efforts are needed I guess...

Starting from this week and onwards, the final semester's students are all busy with the interview things. Kesian pulak tengok especially those yang dah already terbeban dgn FYP, ditambah pulak dgn mende2 camni. In this situation, I feel ada hikmahnya I extend my study to one more semester. Hmm, I feel like writing about my extension, but I'll save it for the incoming posting. Just to add a few things, some of my friends said this to me "Bestnye Naz, x payah sibuk2 buat resume and recommendation letter semua nie" Huhu, I understand how they feel. Tgh2 busy sure tension tgk orang yg lepak2...

Jangan begitu sayang (hehe...) Semua nie utk kebaikan kamu juge. Kamu tidak tahu, I only rest during my sleep time. Nak tgk movie pn kene curi2 masa. Kamu semua baru hendak mencari pekerjaan, tapi saya sudah bekerja. Saya sudah lama penat dengan tanggungjawab sebagai pelajar dan juga sebagai pekerja. Saya rasa kalau kamu menjadi saya, sudah tentu kamu berhenti belajar. Being me is tiring. Saye tidak pernah berpeluang utk rasa bosan di UTP nie but the reason people can't realize it because I have been acclimatized to it and I could act like a normal student.

So kesimpulannya, kita semua busy dengan hidup kita tapi hadapilah ia dgn tenang kerana semua itu akan memberi kebaikan dan kemudahan kepada kite di masa hadapan. Ok yer anak2... mak nak gi jamban lak... tata~~~

To Love is to Let Go....

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

When I was in primary school, I used to encounter this question quite a lot of time "What frighten you the most?" It is because I was well known as a very brave girl before. I did stunts, I involved in mystical things and I risked my life for the things I'd love to do. That was me before. But, since I was young, I only afraid of 2 things - failure and losing my love ones.

I was a great young girl before. I scored the top 1 in the examinations for 6 years in a row. I was excellent in the curricular activities too. Every activity that I participated, there must be a good outcome of it. I led my school and every clubs that I joined. But that was temporary. After that, I have undergone a series of failures. It was the hardest time in my life but I've learnt a lot from it. Facing a fear will help us to overcome it.

I remember my conversation with Zakuan in the car yesterday. I asked him, "Which one do you think will suffer more, either a child who loses his/her parents or the other way around?" Deep inside my heart, my answer was the child who loses his/her parents. I chose that answer because my heart says so. I know that I would be in a deep grief if I lose my parents. It's a nature that children are used to be protected and supported by their parents. Parents give us life. Losing them is like losing our own life. And parents always have more than one child. If they lose one, they still have the others. But we as the child, if we lose them, there's nothing left anymore.

But Zak interpreted it in a different way. He said that parents who lose their child would suffer more. It's because, we have accepted the fact that the older ones might "go" first. As we grow older, we have set that fact in our mind that our parents would die someday. But as for the parents, they never think that their children would die first. So when it happens, it's a kind of shock to them. They'll suffer greatly, but they have to pretend to be strong because the other children still need them.

Then I asked him another question, "Which one do you think will suffer more, either a wife who loses her husband or the other way around?" Again, my answer was the wife who loses her husband. But I can't give a convincing reason to my answer. Then I realized that, all my answers were due to the second fear that I've mentioned earlier - I'm afraid losing the ones I love.

Surprisingly, this was how Zak responded to this question, "Yes, a wife will suffer more. Women are emotional, their hearts are super-soft and most of the time they can't manage their emotions well. Lelaki jiwa dan hatinya lebih tabah. So that's why I'd like you to die first. Saye tak sanggup awak menderita di atas kematian saya. Let me take all the pains and you rest peacefully there."

On the way back to my room, I cried. Yes, it's true. I realized that, the more I love someone, the higher the degree of my suffering would be. I can't imagine what would happen to me if he dies first. I always pray that I would die first, or as an option, please give me a strong heart to face it.

To love is to let go. Semakin kita menyayangi seseorang, semakin kita berisiko utk menderita di atas kehilangannya. We can't block the nature. Just wishing that my heart would be strong enough to face this greatest fear. As I said, the only way to overcome a fear is by facing it...

My Belated Birthday

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

1st of all, happy belated birthday to me. Hehe.... I never take birthday as a serious thing (except for Zakuan. He forgets, he dies.. hahaha) but for this year I feel a little bit excited with my own birthday. Maybe sebab this is going to be my last birthday in UTP, so I forced everyone to remember my birthday. Haha!

As stated in the previous posting, my birthday was during my field trip to Putrajaya. Thanks God it was a good trip. So, I could only celebrate my birthday with Zakuan a day after the trip which was on 24 Feb. Sanggup tak pergi civil nye family day kat Teluk Batik. Hehe...We went to Gunung Lang instead. Tak larat dah nak travel jauh2. From Wednesday to Saturday keje pegi trip jek.

Gunung Lang is a nice place. You can ride a boat to go to the island - not really an island, it looks like a man-made park, but surrounded by a natural lake. Actually, it was our 3rd time being there tp tak pernah berpeluang amik gambar sebab we only went there by chances before.

Initially, it was raining very very heavily when we reached there but the rain stopped 15 minutes later. I couldn't believe that the view could be much more better after raining compared to the normal days. The place is quite hot during the normal days. Konfem akan berpeluh kalo pergi ke Gunung Lang tue. But that day, we enjoyed the whole trip mainly because of the weather. Cuaca masih dingin and angin pon best. So, if you are planning to visit that place, be there soon after the rain stopped. Hehe...

So, I'm 23 now. Next year dah jadi isteri orang (insyaallah..). Suddenly, this thing comes across my mind. Saye rase bile saye dah kawen nnt, sure saya akan jadi seorang ibu yang tegas. And sure anak2 saya would run to their dad utk mengadu kalo saya marah2. Huhu.. garangnyer saye. Anyway, thanks honey for the wonderful trip + the birthday present. Thanks also to my other friends who sent me the wishes and the presents. Love you all. Mmmuuaahhss!



More pics are available at http://new.photos.yahoo.com/ez_enn/albums

Field Trip - Part II

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)


On the way back to UTP kitorang stopped kat RNR Tapah. Jumpe rector tgh makan kat situ. Apelagi, kitorg dgn gediknye gi ngadu kat rector psl driver tak best tu. We didn't expect that he cared so much. Sayaaannngg rector! So, masa trip ke Putrajaya keesokan harinya, he provided us with the best drivers in UTP. Haha!

Disebabkan penat yang melampau semasa di Melaka, I was like takde mood sgt utk ke putrajaya. Sampai kul 10pm esok kul 6.30am dh kene travel lg. Dahla kitorg diarahkan to wear proper and formal attire, sah2 trip ni akan skema. It was what I thought. So, subuh2 tu, orang lain tgh tido saye bising membebel sorang2. Iron baju x licin la, uzur pon kene bgn awal la, ngantuk la... Sian my rumet dgr saye membebel. Heh! As I said before, both trips were not going on as expected. Kalo kat Melaka, saye expect best tapi kurang best. Yang kat putrajaya ni I expected it to be dull but it was a great trip. And it was my birthday on that day. What a lucky day.



Almost all parts in Putrajaya kitorg explore, including some restricted places yang orang biasa takleh masuk. We even entered a conference hall yang belum pernah digunakan lagi di putrajaya tu. Rumah PM tak sempat pegi sebab tour kitorg pun start kul 5, trip balik hari mmg x cukup masa. Briefing pon dah 2-3 jam. Overall, the trip was worth it. Cuma, mate saya agak bengkak2 sbb tak cukup rehat, so cacatla sket gambar2 yg ade saye kat dlm tu. Haha! The most memorable man during this trip was Uncle Sam, our tourist guide. Umur dah 70 sumthing (sweet 70 he said.. haha!) tp energetic gile. Speaking fluent abess. Mesra terlebih2. Bak kate our lecturer "Sebbaik tour ni for a few hours jek. Tak larat nak layan pakcik nih" Hehe...

Event paling dramatic, semasa saye tgh bergambar dgn Zak di perkarangan masjid putrajaya, ade sorg photojournalist dari Reuters asked us utk jadi model. Lama la jugak dia took our time sampai orang dah naik bas pun kitorg still lagi sengih2 dalam taman bunga tu. Then kitorg terpaksa mntk diri sbb my friends dah start calling2 dari dlm bus.


So, overall I like this trip. Pakcik driver mmg best gile. He's one of rector's favourite driver. Ni pun stok mesra gak, sampai saye terpakse berpura tido berkali2 sbb dah tak larat nak borak dgn dia. Dia lak yang terlebih excited nak bawak kitorg ke sana sini. Dah tgh2 malam bute pon dia offer nk gi Kellie's castle ke tak, nak stop minum kat restoran jarum mas ke tak. We had to beg him to go back to UTP a.s.a.p sbb dah penat. Haha! So, what I can conclude here, it's not the place itself yang menjadikan trip tu best, but it is the people who make it happen. Check out our trip photos at http://new.photos.yahoo.com/ez_enn/albums

Field Trip - Part I

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

It's been so long the civil engineering students didn't go to any long-distance field trips. And for this semester macam qadak trip la pulak - 3 field trip skaligus (melaka, putrajaya & johor bharu). Two trips had been successfully completed. Both trips were not going on as expected. First trip ialah kat Melaka on the last Friday.

Damn! I was very kelam kabut before the trip. We should leave for Melaka at 2pm. I got class from 8-9 am. Then, kelam kabut siapkan progress report. Then, pergi hantar fotostat buku HSE protocol to be brought to Melaka. After that, Zak and I went to Batu Gajah to take the stuff ordered by my fellow friends. Some of them wanted to bring the stuff to Melaka so by hook or by crook we got to go there. Can you just imagine, the bus would be leaving by 2pm and we reached UTP at 1.40pm. At that time, we haven't packed anything yet. Nak iron baju tudung lagi. And time tu jugak these people dtg amik barang. But still, we managed to be there on time. Whoaa! Memang macam chimpazee la time tu...

Dalam bus lak, the bus driver was like shit. Tak sporting, suke buat dirty jokes, rude, cakap jer lebey, panas baran, suke membebel, mulut takde insurans, muke tak best, haihhh byknye dose saya dpt arini. Huhu... for this trip, byk dak2 yg senyap so tak berapa havoc sgt as usual. We only reached the Everly Hotel at 10 pm. Wow! The hotel was superb. RM300 per night + besar leh wat main futsal + nice view (exactly besides the seashore) + swimming pool yg besar and best + nice and comfortable accomodations. But the shower was a bit canggih I guess, sampai terkial2 nak bukak paip utk mandi. Haha!



Seriously tak puas stay kat hotel tu but we needed to check out at 7.30 am on the next morning. Haiihh... Dr shark nie lak suke sgt la call saye spjg trip tu. Dah lantik group leader tu call jek la dia. Plz la dr shark, give me some spaces to feel like a normal tourist with no responsibilities. Cukupla bebanan FYP yang dikau berikan.. Huhu...Overall, trip kat Melaka nie can be concluded as below:

Best:
1. Stay kat hotel best
2. Went to ALAM, masuk simulation centre dia. Waahhh, betul2 rase macam kat tengah laut. Real giler sampai ramai yang mabuk laut (termasuk sayer la tu). Dr shark pon sama terlebih enjoy, orang dah suh kluar dia nak main lagi. Heh!
3. Layanan dari pihak ALAM memang 1st class. Even though they are much much older than us, but they treated us like VIPs.
4. Photography session (makin nak grad nie makin suke bergambar ramai2. Heh!)
5. Makan banyak spjg trip.

Tak Best:
1. That shit driver. Ade ke patut drop students tgh2 hujan.
2. Tak jalan2 tempat lain pon selain ALAM and RNR Sungai Buluh (related to the shit driver as well)
3. Tak sempat shopping any souveniers from Melaka (related to the shit driver as well)
4. Penat jer lbih, enjoy kurang

Finally, kitorg kembali ke UTP - sampai dlm 10 pm on Thursday. The next morning lak seawal kul 6.30 am dah kene ke tempat bas balik utk ke putrajaya lak...

Ketumbit

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

Dulu, each time kalo sakit perut, pening kepala and rase loya2 nk muntah, mesti org akan wat lawak bodoh cakap "Pregnant kot..." Last Thursday, bgn2 tido jek mata kanan rase pedih2, rase cam ade jerawat bawah kulit yg blom kluar lg. It was really painful when it was in contact with sumthing. Of coz I can't stop my eyes from blinking so each time my right eye berkelip2 sakitnye xley cite.

Unfortunately, that day was a busy day so xde mase nk gi klinik. What I could do was just asking around what had happened to my eye. All gave me the same answer "Nk tumbuh ketumbit kot" and bile saye tanye ape puncanye, all gave me the same answer too "Skodeng". Caittt!! So, ptg tue bile dh setel seme kelas baru ade pluang nk jumpe doktor, kt klinik utp jek. Cett, doktor pon 2x5 wat lawak bodoh. Mmg la nice lawak tu, tapi... saye kn tgh sakit, sampai ati korang.. huhu...

Anyway saye sgt hepi sbb doktor target sy akan sembuh dlm mase 5 hari tp saye sembuh dlm mase 2 hari jek. Si ketumbit x senonoh tu x sempat membesar pon. Hehehe... Saye bukannye ape, next week ade field trip dak2 civil kt melaka n putrajaya. pulak tu, next week BESDAY saye (penegasan sket!!) so xmola amik gamba dgn mate ade ketumbuhan. Huhu... Thanks Allah for the quick heal. Yeyeahh!!!

Maka di sini, ingin saya berkongsi sedikit petua merawat ketumbit selain gi klinik. 1stly petua dari fuzz : gosok hujung kain yg kite pakai kt tmpt ketumbit tu a few times, kain telekung semayang pon ok. Kan fuzz kn? hehe... 2ndly petua dari junior osmet saye : Caranya, ambil seulas bawang putih, guris sedikit bahagian hujungnya dengan kuku agar keluar airnya dan sapukan pada kelopak mata yang ber ketumbit tadi 3 kali sehari. Selamat mencuba. Hahahaha!

P/s : 1st time kene ketumbit spjg hayat...

I Know Myself Better

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

There was a boy who used to mess up with his life - family, friends, study, business and a few other distractions that led him to a miserable and inorganized life. He didn't have a stand in his life, flowed freely as a tide. He didn't have the art of managing the time well so he did bad in his study.

Then one day, he was gifted to meet this girl. She listened to all of his stories that other people didn't know. She helped him all-out to clean up all the mess. It took years for this girl to transform this boy. And now, the boy has so much improvements in his life, and in certain things, much more better than the girl herself. He became more outspoken, participate actively in lectures and be a good leader. Every step that he makes, he makes it confidently. He used to target a certain figures (confidential) as his final CGPA but he scored that figures 4 semesters earlier. The girl is very proud of him. She feels like she has managed to raise a baby to become a good adult.

Then there was a girl who had a complicated life. She was amazing outside but she was sick. Her mind never stop thinking of problems but she was too ego to share them with others. She was busy helping others until she forgot her own need. She was too much independant and used to think that her family didn't like her because they let her to be on her own way alone. She had a lot of friends but she preffered to stay in a small crowd. She didn't like attachment. This girl had a totally different mind and different level of thinking. She was so complicated that her friends always misunderstood her. She wanted her life to be perfect but every move she made, there was a defect somewhere.

Then one day, she was gifted to meet this boy. He helped her all out. He took this girl to the hospital each time she got sick. He took care of her need and prayed a lot for her. He taught this girl that sometimes it's ok not to be perfect. He taught her not to be so hard on herself. He also taught this girl that happiness needs sacrifices. The girl found out that this boy had the same level of thinking and they were coping remarkably well. For the first time in her entire life, she felt a true love within her heart.

Then they moved on together, fixing each other for a better life. They started from the ground up. They used to suffer a lot to make this relationship happen. They cried together, laughed together. They were like a pair of legs. You lose one, you'll feel like losing two. They worked hard together, did a business and took every single oppurtunity that they had. They started from zero and now they had a stable life - manage to have their own car with their own money, have some investments for their savings and have their own company. They even own 2 pieces of lands where they could stay together afterwards. They have a clear future, just waiting for Allah to approve them.

They went out pretty much - to buy stocks, placing and taking orders, dealing with banks, meet customers and prospects, out for business gathering and of course for their own pleasure. End of 1st chapter. The conclusion is the girl is me and the boy is Zakuan.

So the people around start talking "Kunaz tu selalu berkepit dgn Zak" "Kunaz tue asyik dgn Zak till abaikan member2 dia yg lain" "Kunaz itu Kunaz ini, Kunaz situ sana sini.." (lawak bodoh.. huhu..) Hmm, as Zak said, happiness needs sacrifices. We can't always satisfy others and if we do, it doesn't guarantee that we get happiness in return. So, I choose to be happy. And I guess they have satisfied talking about us, so fair isn't it? Huhu...

Hey, I'm not neglecting my friends it's just I don't like attachment. Even my parents can't kongkong me... I'm not like the girls in the movies, if one hates something, everyone in the group must hate it too. If one wants to go somewhere and everyone must follow too. It's just not my nature. Saye tak memilih kawan but I stick to the one who I trust and who I can depend on. And as I said earlier, my mind is complicated. If I'm closed to friends who can't reach my level, the friendship could be worse. So in my opinion, if I keep ruining friendships, it's better for me to back off at the 1st place. Lets other friends know me the way they know me outside. And biarlah baik buruk saya Zak saje yang tahu because we have accepted each other.

Lastly, people won't stop talking and they have rights to do that. I know it's fun to talk about others because I used to be a gossiper before. I'm having some properties of glass btw - hard but brittle and I could be shaped. Being among the gossipers will make me become a gossiper too. Thanks Allah that I met Zak. Less social + less talk + less gossips will equal to less sins right? (trying hard to improve that). So, it's me and I enjoy being me....

P/S : I'm still trying not to judge a book by its cover. So, let's learn together

To All Credit Card Holders : Read This!!

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)


I've just got a phone call (03-60221045) from a Malay girl who claimed herself as a staff from Multipurpose Membership Card. As I heard the company name, I just ended the call without saying anything. It's a scam. Thanks to Hairi who had forwarded the email regarding this matter earlier. Now I realize how powerful the internet could be. And I hope that my blog could be powerful enough to deliver the same reminder to all other card credit holders. Hehe... Beware everyone. Read the cases below, I just extracted this from the email given to me.

Case 1:
from email kat bawah, saya nak bagitau yang saya pun terkena camtu jugak dan dah terbagi no.kat belakang kad saya.Saya pun pelik sebab caller tu ( melayu girl ) tanya no yang kat belakang & siap tanya kita punya signature tu terang ke x ? What for..? Caller tu akan buat kita tertarik dengan tawaran dia kononnya kita akan dapat discount bla..bla..bla. ..dan dia akan pos semua dokumen kat kita lepas kita setuju bayar RM300 from our credit card..After dia cakap camtu saya pun terfikir balik, & cakap x setuju...Saya dah report dekat bank & mintak bank buat sesuatu... So, berhati-hati kalau dapat panggilan misteri camni....jangan tertipu lagi...

Case 2:
Saya pun ada received call pasal kes ni semalam (24/01/07) dari no. 03-41464550 dalam kul 2:54pm. Mamat tu namanya Ady. Katanya dari Multi Purpose Credit Card K.L. Bila tanya mana dapat no tipon saya, dia cakap depan dia semua data pemegang credit card dia ada. Katanya dia cuma nak buat pengesahan sebelum citer pasal kemudahan2 yang lain. Nasib baik tak layan sebab dah rasa lain macam. Bila saya suruh citer apa kemudahan2nya dia cakap kena buat pengesahan no credit card dulu. Dia tanya expiry date lah...no card lah..Saya cakap nanti saya tipon balik tapi bila call no tu balik tak dapat line. Sah la menipu. So kekangwan berhati2 ye selepas ni.

Case 3:
Halooo semua. Korang better watch out if ada caller nak offer multipurpose membership card. I have just received a call from a girl named WANI at number 019-3361829 baru sat tadi Jumaat 19 January 2007, jam 12.30tgh hari.. Mula mula tu dia tanya saya ada credit card visa atau mastercard, and lepas tu dia minta nombor credit card 16 digit katanya untuk buat pengesahan.

Dia juga tanya tarikh luput card tersebut. And then dgn professionalnya dia cakap "boleh cik tengok di belakang kad tu di tempat tandatangan cik itu, dan beritahu saya cik orang yg keberapa ratus sebagai pemegang kad kredit ini?" She's referring to the 3-digit credit card authorization number!!! That's our security number!! Saya tak bagi nombor tu, tapi dengan suara lantangnya saya terus sergah dia sebagai penipu. Saya bagitau dia yg saya tahu itu bukan nombor bilangan pemegang kredit kad dan dia jgn nak kelentong saya, nnt saya akan buat laporan polis.

Dia cuba nak rationalized with me and explain that dia cuma nak mengesahkan saya pemegang sebenar sebelum mail to me the multipurpose membership card. Saya pon balas laa balik, kenapa nak tipu saya ckp nombor tu nombor bilangan pemegang kad kredit sedangkan that is the authorization code. And guess what happened, dia terus letak telepon!!

So, mari kita semua kongsi bersama cerita ini and pass it around supaya takde yg tertipu lepas ni. Jangan mudah sangat tertipu ngan suara lemah lembut and professional accent caller ni.. and please jgn senang sangat bagi org tahu your last 3-digit credit card number at the back of the card. anybody with information of your credit card 16 digit number, your expiry date and the 3-digit code, can charge any amount to you credit card through any purchasing- internet.

Feeling Lonely

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)


Housemates semua dah balik beraya cina (heh!). Rumet pun dah balik, lepas subuh trus gi. x smpt salam2 peluk2 cium2 seme. huhu... Zak plak balik rumah kejap sbb amik adik dia yg tersangkut di Tanjung Malim semalam. This is my 1st time waking up from my sleep with an empty heart...

Hmmm.. sometimes we think we can handle the world alone. Sometimes we think we are strong enough and don't need other people around to support us. Yeah, that's me btw. I raised my own life since I was small and I always think that I could live alone without the help from others. But then I realize, yess, I might not need their help, but I need them to keep me alive. I need people around me to keep me strong to face the challenge. Now, saye sangatlah terasa lemau utk berbuat apa2. Huhu..

Tak selalu saye rase camni. Rasenye dalam 2-3 tahun tu adela kot sekali feeling this way. It depends on my schedule. Kalau busy maybe I don't have time to layan such this feeling. But now, I've just been released from a damn hectic week. Last week, I spent my whole life standing in the lab doing my FYP. During the weekends, I struggled hard to do the Marine assignment to be submitted on Mon. Then I had to prepare for a group presentation on Tues. Spent my whole life again in the lab on Wed and got a test on Thurs.

And now there's nothing left to do. Maka, layan blues la buat seketika. It's ok then, maybe kejap2 lagi bile dah ade bende nak buat saye dah x rase sunyi lagi. But still, I take this as a good lesson. Hargailah orang di sekeliling anda sementara mereka masih ada coz you'll never know how precious they are until you lose them....

Hipokrasi

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

Just submitted one assignment and now got to prepare the slides for the tomorrow's presentation. I've finished my part btw but I have to do extra works as all of my groupmate are just starting their minor parts. Hmmm... it's ok..let's just be cool about it. Just wanna burst out a few things here. I've just met one of my pal and we shared some stories. Owh gosh, I hate opening up an old story but today I feel like I do like writing it here. Maybe my workloads have stirred my emotion and one way to let it go is by letting it go - HERE. Hehe...

Ok, some of my friends already knew what was my biggest fight in UTP is all about. The fight was between me and a very little innocent cute girl who looks perfect in the eyes of others. I've expected this - if we fought, people would automatically judge me as the bad side, based on her external appearance of course. So, we've made a deal, if in case people come to me and asked me the actual story, I will just tell them the truth, the truth that I know, not the truth that she's been telling the others.

And now it does happen. People keep spreading the news that she was innocent and I just hold my promise. I won't just spread out the story as it's absolutely not a good thing to hear. The reason people know about it is because the asked, and not much of them of coz. Thanks for considering both sides before proceeding with the judgement. And to other people as well, never judge a one-side story. I don't ask you to believe me, I just want you to be fair in your judgement. Hehe.. emo sgt ke?

Hmmm okla, memang hipokrasi tu kadang2 diperlukan dalam kehidupan kite. Sebab kite org melayu and melayu kaya dgn adat. Tapi hipokrasi tu ade tempatnye. Jgn jadi seperti lebah, di mulut membawa madu tapi di ekor membawa racun. And to those who had experienced the same matter, just take time to be strong. I understand enuff. Saye dulu pantang org salah paham, kecoh nk correct the situation. But now, it doesn't matter anymore. Go ahead with the misunderstanding. Saye sekarang lebih pentingkan pandangan Allah dari pandangan manusia. Nak ngumpat ke fitnah ke go on, but thanks la yer masukkan pahala ke dlm akaun saye. Hehe... Alahai.. emo nyer saye petang ini. Adakah nak datang bulan? huhu.. Ha btw, besday saye 23/02 ni. ehehehe....

Has The New Semester Started?

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

I'm in the civil lab comp at the moment. I only got 1 class today from 9-11. It is 12 o'clock in the afternoon now and I'll have a weekly meeting with my beloved SV, dr SHARK (hehe..) at 1 pm. The name sounds harmful and his face proves it. But as you get closer to him, he could be your best pal ever.. There's still one more hour left and I decide to just stay here until the time comes.

My initial plan was to search for the literature review for my FYP, as much as possible if it is possible. But as usual, my mind would start to flow to something else. I don't understand what had happened to me lately. I still have no courage to start my new semester. I've watched 20 series of Bawang Putih Bawang Merah all over the weekends. 1 series take 1 hour long to finish, which means I have wasted 20 hours in front of my monitor watching that dramatic series. I've asked my roomate to solat hajat for our room, just in case if there's a group of satans there that seduce me to be such that lazy. Owh, the temptation was so high and I could not resist it at all. Hahaha!

Just wanna share a few things about my new house. I've moved to level 3 for this semester (the previous one was level 1). The house is superb except for the piping system of the pantry. The 6 rooms are divided equally - 3 rooms for the seniors (including me of coz) and the other 3 rooms for the juniors who are just returning back from the internship. People always say that it is a bit fussy when seniors are staying under the same roof with the juniors but fortunately in my case, it's not going on that way. Those little juniors are all nice and we live in peace and harmony together. I don't demand their respects, but I build the respect within them. It's heartwarming to hear the word "Akak..akak" from them. Huhu... I would feel uncormfotable if my heart feels disgusting to someone and thanks God as my heart keeps beating happily here. We always have our breakfast and tea time together (fisza will always there to prepare the tea. hehe..)

One fact that I should not leave - my room is cold! Turning the fan to the 3rd level could freeze me. Heh! So, it's easy to kill me slowly. Turn the fan into the 5th level and I could die freezing in my sleep. Haha! But I think this is a common phenomenon in the beginning of each semester. The fan blades are still clean and sharp, so the cooling power is still strong. Later, as the dust and dirts keeps landing on the blade, level 5 won't be a hazard for me. Hehe..

Anyway, I love my new surrounding now. This is my first time having a room that faces the world (not facing the other block anymore as I used to have during the past 4 years). Now I could enjoy the morning breeze. Everyday, I would sleep and wake up with a smile on my face. Weh apehal aku jiwang bangat nih! Haha! So before I keep writing rubbish, it's better for me to stop here. Hoping that I could enter into the academic life seriously starting from next week as there are still 10 more movies pending in my hard disk. Hahaha! Pray hard...

Istidraj - Credit to Polo

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)

Waahh! Lama sungguh x join usrah. Thanks polo for the email, dapatla jugak pengisian jiwa. Dari Abdullah bin 'Amr R. A, Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda, " Sampaikanlah pesanku biarpun satu ayat.." So, nie nak share sesama la article yg di forwardkan oleh polo nie. (baik jugak ko yerkk polo...bese fwd mende2 x snonoh jek kt aku. hehe..)

Minggu lepas, kawan seofis Fendi tanya "Kenapa kadang kala kita lihat seseorg insan tu sentiasa dapat kegembiraan spt dapat naik pangkat, murah rezeki dll sedangkan dia tu selalu melakukan kemungkaran?".

So, Fendi pun jawablah yang kdg kala sesuatu anugerah Allah swt kpd seseorg individu tu bukanlah sebab Allah sayangkan hambanya itu tetapi kerana Allah nak tengok sejauh mana keikhlasan orang itu. Allah nak tengok adakah hambanya itu akan menyedari bahawa Allah amat bermurah hati dengannya jadi sepatutnya dia bersyukur dan berubah menjadi baik. Tapi jika individu itu masih tidak reti bersyukur maka sesungguhnya dia telah menimbulkan kemurkaan Ar-Rahman.

Ada member tanya kenapa kdg2 kita dah banyak kali berdoa tapi belum dapat apa yang diimpikan. Ustazah kata itu tandanya Allah sayang pada kita. Sebabnya Allah tahu kalau kita lambat atau belum dpt yg diimpikan, kita akan terus berdoa dan mengingati Ilahi. Sebenarnya Allah amat rindukan suara hamba-hambaNya merayu dan memujiNya. Kalau sekali berdoa terus dapat, kemungkinan besar lepas tu kita kita taksub dan lupa utk bersyukur pd yg Esa.

Tup-tup dpt pula artikel ni drp seorg rakan. A very relevant and interesting article. Semoga Allah beratkan timbangan ibadah kita drp timbangan dosa di Pdg Mahsyar nanti. InsyaAllah..

Apakah dia istidraj itu? Ianya adalah pemberian nikmat Allah kepada manusia yang mana pemberian itu tidak diredhaiNya. Inilah yang dinamakan istidraj. Rasullulah s.a.w. bersabda :"Apabila kamu melihat bahawa Allah Taala memberikan nikmat kepada hambanya yang selalu membuat maksiat (durhaka), ketahuilah bahawa orang itu telah diistidrajkan oleh Allah SWT." (Diriwayatkan oleh At-Tabrani, Ahmad dan Al-Baihaqi)

Tetapi, manusia yang durhaka dan sering berbuat maksiat yang terkeliru dengan pemikirannya merasakan bahawa nikmat yang telah datang kepadanya adalah kerana Allah berserta dan kasih dengan perbuatan maksiat mereka.

Masih ada juga orang ragu-ragu, kerana kalau kita hendak dapat kebahagian di dunia dan akhirat kita mesti ikut jejak langkah Rasullulah saw dan berpegang teguh pada agama Islam. Tetapi bagaimana dengan ada orang yang sembahyang 5 waktu sehari semalam, bangun tengah malam bertahajjud, puasa bukan di bulan Ramadhan sahaja, bahkan Isnin, Khamis dan puasa sunat yang lain. Tapi, hidup mereka biasa sahaja. Ada yang susah juga. Kenapa?

Dan bagaimana pula orang yang seumur hidup tak sembahyang, puasa pun tak pernah, rumahnya tersergam indah, kereta mewah menjalar, duit banyak,dia boleh hidup kaya dan mewah. Bila kita tanya, apa kamu tak takut mati? Katanya, alah, orang lain pun mati juga, kalau masuk neraka, ramai-ramai. Tak kisahlah! Sombongnya mereka, takburnya mereka.

Rasullulah s.a.w. naik ke langit bertemu Allah pun tak sombong, Nabi Sulaiman, sebesar-besar pangkatnya sehinggakan semua makhluk di muka bumi tunduk di bawah perintahnya pun tak sombong! Secantik-cantik Nabi Yusof dan semerdu suara Nabi Daud, mereka tak sombong. Bila sampai masa dan ketikanya, mereka tunduk dan sujud menyembah Allah.

Manusia istidraj - Manusia yang lupa daratan. Walaupun berbuat maksiat, dia merasa Allah menyayanginya. Mereka memandang hina kepada orang yang beramal. "Dia tu siang malam ke masjid, basikal pun tak mampu beli, sedangkan aku ke kelab malam pun dengan kereta mewah. Tak payah beribadat pun, rezeki datang mencurah-curah. Kalau dia tu sikit ibadat tentu boleh kaya macam aku" katanya sombong.

Sebenarnya, kadang-kadang Allah memberikan nikmat yang banyak dengan tujuan untuk menghancurkannya. Rasullulah s.a.w bersabda: "Apabila Allah menghendaki untuk membinasakan semut, Allah terbangkan semua itu dengan dua sayapnya" (Kitab Nasaibul ├ŽIbad)

Anai-anai, jika tidak bersayap, maka dia akan duduk diam di bawah batu atau merayap di celah-celah daun, tetapi jika Allah hendak membinasakannya, Allah berikan dia sayap. Lalu, bila sudah bersayap, anai-anai pun menjadi kelkatu. Kelkatu, bila mendapat nikmat(sayap), dia akan cuba melawan api. Begitu juga manusia, bila mendapat nikmat, cuba hendak melawan Allah swt.

Buktinya, Firaun. Nikmatnya tak terkira, tidak pernah sakit, bersin pun tidak pernah kerana Allah berikannya nikmat kesihatan. Orang lain selalu sakit, tapi Firaun tidak, orang lain mati,namun dia masih belum mati-mati juga, sampai rasa angkuh dan besar diri lantas mengaku dirinya tuhan. Tapi dengan nikmat itulah Allah binasakan dia.

Namrud, yang cuba membakar Nabi Ibrahim. Betapa besar pangkat Namrud? Dia begitu sombong dengan Allah, akhirnya menemui ajalnya hanya disebabkan seekor nyamuk masuk ke dalam lubang hidungnya.

Tidak ada manusia hari ini sekaya Qarun. Anak kunci gudang hartanya sahaja kena dibawa oleh 40 ekor unta. Akhirnya dia ditenggelamkan bersama-sama hartanya sekali akibat terlalu takbur. Jadi kalau kita kaya,jangan sangka Allah sayang, Qarun lagi kaya,akhirnya binasa juga.

Jadi,jika kita kaji dan fikir betul-betul,maka terjawablah segala keraguan yang mengganggu fikiran kita. Mengapa orang kafir kaya, dan orang yang berbuat maksiat hidup senang/mewah. Pemberian yang diberikan oleh Allah pada mereka bukanlah yang diredhaiNya. Rupa-rupanya ianya adalah bertujuan untuk menghancurkannya. Untuk apa hidup ini tanpa keredhaanNya?

Tetapi jangan pula ada orang kaya beribadat, masuk masjid dengan kereta mewah kita katakan itu istidraj. Orang naik pangkat, istidraj. Orang-orang besar, istidraj. Jangan! Orang yang mengunakan nikmatnya untuk kebajikan untuk mengabdi kepada Allah bukan istidraj. Dan jangan pula kita tidak mahu kekayaan. Kalau hendak selamat, hidup kita mesti ada pegangan. Bukan kaya yang kita cari, juga bukan miskin yang kita cari. Tujuan hidup kita adalah mencari keredaan Allah.

Bagaimana cara untuk menentukan nikmat yang diredhai Allah? Seseorang itu dapat menyedari hakikat yang sebenarnya tentang nikmat yang diterimanya itu ialah apabila dia bersyukur nikmatnya. Dia akan mengunakan pemberian ke jalan kebaikan dan sentiasa redha dan ikhlas mengabdikan diri kepada Allah. Maka segala limpah kurnia yang diperolehi itu adalah nikmat pemberian yang diredhai Allah. Bila tujuan hidup kita untuk mencari keredhaan Allah, niscaya selamatlah kita di dunia dan akhirat. Wallahualam.

Buat Teman Dekat Tapi Jauh....

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)


Dari kecil hinggalah aku menjejakkan kaki ke UTP ni, aku sgt bersyukur kerana sentiasa ditempatkan di golongan kawan2 yg tak pernah menyesatkan aku. Aku akui, pandangan mindaku dalam soal pergaulan tidak begitu luas,terhad di ruang legar tempurung yg memagari mindaku. Sangkaanku, itulah erti sebenar sebuah dunia. Tapi aku silap. Semakin aku menginjak dewasa, semakin aku sedari bahawa tempurung yang kudiami sebelum ini sungguh kecil... Dan semakin hari makin aku sedari bahawa dunia di luar tempurungku itu sgt kotor. Lantaran tidak bersedia menerima hakikat berada di dunia baru, byk kesilapan yg aku lakukan dlm langkahan kehidupanku. Pernah aku tertanya2... perlukah aku terus melangkah dgn caraku? Sekian lama mengumpul kekuatan, aku simpulkan, ya.. aku perlu melangkah dengan caraku tapi jgn disekat langkahan org lain. Jangan dipaksa org lain melangkah seiring dgn kita tp tunjukkanlah dia jalan mana yg harus dituju.....

Isu kali ini mungkin agak sensitif tp xtau nape trase jari jemari nie laju je nak menaip. Berkali2 jugak hati berdetik, perlukah nukilan ini diteruskan. Yes of course, this is my blog. Kalo x suke xyah bace. Heh..garang siot!

As mentioned earlier, kawan2 yg aku dampingi sebelum ini semuanya standardized. Walopun berbeza perangai tp yg nyata kesemuanya mengerti batasan agama yg harus dipatuhi. Even di tahun akhir pengajianku di UTP ni I'm still being surrounded by that type of friends, especially among the civil engineering students. You are rawks civillians! Namun, 1-2 tahun yg lepas, aku byk dikejutkan dgn perbuatan di luar jangkaan oleh segelintir rakan yg begitu rapat dgnku di UTP nie. Byk yg telah tersasar atas dasar cinta. Seorang demi seorang telah menggegarkan jantungku, menghentikan nafasku buat seketika dan menitiskan air mataku utk bbrp droplets. Hehe.. Satu demi satu kejutan yang aku trima hingga aku hilang pertimbangan. Lantaran hubungan persahabatan yg terjalin sekian lama terputus begitu shj disebabkan niat ikhlasku yg ingin menegur disalahertikan. It's my nature sgt x reti nk tego orang. For me, teguran hanya layak dibuat oleh orang yg sempurna sedangkan aku juga punya kelemahan. Yess, itu tanggapan yang salah tp aku tak mampu menepisnya. Mungkin usaha aku utk menegur x kene caranya. Atau "dia" yang terlalu keras hati?

Dan kenapa telinga dan mata ini selalu ditujah dgn berita2 dan bukti2 kepesongan rakan2ku? Aku tak pernah meminta semua itu. Masakan aku sanggup menoreh jantungku sendiri. Sehingga sampai satu ketika dadaku terasa begitu terbeban. Aku berbelah bahagi antara menjaga persahabatan atau menegur demi persahabatan. Aku tahu, aku akan turut sama memikul dosa kerana tidak menegur saudara sendiri. Percubaanku utk menegur menghasilkan impak negative. Persahabatan suci itu telah diputuskan. Aku juga sedar doa org yg memutuskan silaturrahim tidak akan diangkat ke langit. Astaghfirullah. Hanya Kau yg mengetahui betapa aku telah cuba menyambung kembali bibit silaturrahim itu. Fahamilah diri ini Ya Allah dan ampunkanlah segala dosa2ku...

Demi mencari ketenangan jiwa, aku lari dari dunia mereka dan kembali mencari rakan2 yg sekufu dgnku. And here I am, tenang dan bahagia di samping orang2 yang membahagiakan aku.... Alhamdulillah, kini jiwaku yg dulu agak rapuh sudah makin mantap. Aku sudah bisa menerima hakikat bahawa dunia ini hanya punya sedikit cebisan suci. Hasil diskusi dengan rumet tersayang, cena (hehe...), yes, actually itulah dunia hari ini. Cuma kite yg berada di golongan minoriti. Bersyukurlah kerana kita masih dilindungiNya tapi jgn pula mencemuh mereka yg di luar coverage hidayah. Mungkin belum tiba masanya lg.

So, I'm sorry kalo perbuatan kolotku dahulu bisa melukakan. Aku terima segalanya kerana kita semua punya kelemahan. Doaku semoga hati kita akan kembali bertaut seperti dulu. Dan ketahuilah bahawa hari demi hari aku makin merindui kemesraan kita dahulu....

What a Horror Wedding!

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)


During this semester break, my 2 permanent jobs were being a desperate housewife and an excellent driver. On 04/01/07, I fetched my mum at her office as usual. But then she asked me to accompany her to a wedding ceremony of her friend's sister. As she popped out the question, I was clueless and gave her no answer for almost 5 minutes. My heart refused to go and I didn't know why. But, I couldn't just let my mum go there by herself. So I went there too.

It was a very simple wedding ceremony. There were only four tables provided under one pavilion. We reached there at about 5.15pm and people were getting lesser by that time. Thanks God. I don't really like being in a big crowd. Hehe... I knew no one there except some of my mum's friends. I just makan senyap2 there, talked to nobody. A very thin young girl entertained us and served us the food. No buffet.

Then I followed my mum entering the house to see the bride & the groom being photographed by the professional photographer. There wasn't much people there, only their relatives. As I said, the wedding was totally simple. The groom was kind of funny. He made everyone laughed during the photo shoot.

Then, I asked mum to go home but she wanted to wait for her friend first. Arrgghhh!!! I got out from the house and sat on the long bench under the tree. My mum just followed me. Just after 5 minutes sitting there, I heard a really horrible yell from inside of the house. What the hell was that? Then I saw a few people carrying an old woman that has been possessed. And not less than 5 minutes, there was another one got that hysteria too, a woman as well. This time, I went nearer to see what was going on. And suddenly after 2 minutes, this hysteric was transferred to a man from the pavilion.

Wow! The distance from the pavilion to the house entrace needs at at least 10 steps to reach but he made it for 2 steps only. He seemed like flying. With a pair of red eyes, he jumped towards me who was standing in front of the house entrance. Damn! I don't know why I was so cool by that time and I made no effort to run at all. Luckily, 2 men have blocked his way and I was safe. Haha! Anyway, his energy was superb as there were almost 10 men holding him.

And then, the same thing happened to the thin girl that entertained us before. Gosh!! She was too thin to be such that strong. I could see that my mum was getting pale and she asked me to go home. Haha at last! As we walked to the car, the married couple followed us walking out of the compound. Yes, things were getting worse. There wasn't much people there, so the possiblity to be 'infected' was high to everyone. From my car, I could see another woman was being infected. Before I left the house, I could see that the married couple was standing by the roadside looking at the horrible view. So, in front of my naked eyes, there were 5 people that had been possessed in 15 minutes.

At night, my mum called her friend and asked her about the 'development' of the case. She said, she went home 30 minutes after us and by that time, there were more than 10 people, including the innocent bride that were infected by that satanic influence (hehe..). The last 2 persons that she saw was a couple of husband and wife who were eating in front of her. Yang kelakarnye, husband and wife nie saling cekik mencekik. According to her, the situation was like watching the fishes dying on the ground or as a cow that's being slaughtered.

To make this story short, there were more than 20 people that had been possessed that day. What surprised me more, the story wasn't just end like that. During the night time, there were some people who also got the hysteria even after they went back home - in their very own home. And all of them were the relatives of the bride & the groom. As usual, people would start making assumptions. And of couse, the highest rating goes to buatan orang as the reason. If you guys watch the Long Khong movie, you could see that the trend was exactly the same. What a poor... Every wedding should end with a memorable moment. Yes it was memorable too, but in the other way round. Semoga dijauhi dari bende2 mcm nie... Amin...

Welcome 2007

(Transferred from Friendster's blog)


A brand new blog for a brand new year. To those who had followed my previous blog, sorry for the incompletion of the story line. I have to delete all the previous postings due to one single reason that scared me to death! To those who had known it, hahaha then... Anyone who hasn't known yet but interested in knowing the reason, you may ask me personally. I'm not going to include that scary fact here. Hehehe... =p

Unlike any other years, I didn't have a chance to make a wish or to set my new year's resolution for this year. I just don't feel like it. Hoho.. Is it because I have satisfied with my life throughout 2006? Yes, it might be the reason. I have done my best in 2006. Luckily good things were always by my side and I have ended the year 2006 with a good closing.

Or maybe it is because I was too exhausted. Yes, I've used a lot of energy throughout 2006. My brain, body and emotion worked endlessly, starting from the internship things and ended by the FYP presentation. Actually, this is my first time having my semester break heavenly. I normally did a part time job during the semester break, but I was damn tired this year and I need enough rest before struggling with my FYP 2 back.

And I'm having enough rest now. Errk, correction... extra rest... Napela dia buat raye haji time2 saye balik bercuti. Hisss!!! I ate a lot of meats. Kalo campur semua daging2 yg telah saye makan, rasenye saye telah berjaye menelan seekor lembu. Kalah rimau! And guess what, my waist measurement had increased by 2 inches plus 3 kg of my body weight. Hope you guys would still recognize me. Hehehe...

However, even without a vivid aim for 2007, this year has given me a good head start so far. I have managed to set up my own company, namely KNZ Pro Vista Enterprise. I have been proposed on my 3rd anniversary. Thanks for the ring honey. I love you =D Besides, I have been booked by 2 contractor companies to be a civil engineer there upon my graduation.

There isn't much to be hoped for this year except for Allah's blessings in whatever I do. Hoping that my dreams will take me to the corners of my smiles, to the highest of my hopes, to the windows of my opportunities, and to the most special places my heart has ever known. Bless me Allah, because You are my only strength.... Welcome 2007! Please arrange my life accodingly. Hehehe... =p

Blog Transfer

I have started this blogging stuff during my internship (2005) and I used Friendster's Blog as the beginning - by that time, I didn't know yet that there are a lot of other options instead of Friendster. Then, when I involved seriously in the internet marketing, I discovered this Blogspot - very user-friendly to promote my products and yet, it's free. It has most of the functions that I need (for Friendster, I need to pay for the extra functions). Since I feel more comfortable using this Blogspot, I've decided to transfer all my previous postings from the Friendster's Blog to here. The URL is shortened and easy to be remembered by the readers (if they are any), plus I get all the convenience to write my stories of heart here....

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